A Second Pet, I say. Would The Moral Dog Object? Asks the Owner. Of course not, I say. That is Good Then, says the Owner. It does seem, I say, to be a Rather Strange Question, I say. In the Circumstances, I say. Because the Moral Dog would like to […]
The Moral Dog has a Guilty Face, says the Owner. How do you know? I ask. Because I am looking at it, says the Owner, and it has Guilt written all over it. If it has Guilt written all over it, I say, then you have Written it there. I […]
The Owner says that we must be More Committed to Addressing Equality. What do you mean by Addressing Equality? I ask the Owner. And how does one become More Committed? Equality is about ensuring that every Individual has an equal opportunity to make the most of their Lives and Talents, […]
Squeaky Ball has come out of the Washing Machine. I greet him rapturously, as befits a Moral Dog reunited with his Soulmate. I thought I was your Soulmate, says the Owner. You are my Soulmate, I say, but so is Squeaky Ball. He is a Mate to a different Part […]
Let us go to the Park, I say. The Pond is calling, I say. I do not think it is, says the Owner. Ponds do not Call. You are interpreting me too Literally, I say. It is the Echo of the Morning’s Happy Hours in the Pond that are Calling […]
The Owner and I step out of the Door. The Sounds of the Park are enticing, and on the Breeze comes a Faint smell of Cheese Sandwiches. Let us go to the Park, I say. No, says the Owner, we are not going to the Park, we are going to […]
How do I become Prime Minister? I ask the Owner. I think you acquire a Tousled Appearance, father lots of children, learn to speak Ancient Greek and make a Large Number of Culturally Inappropriate Jokes using words of at least Four Syllables, says the Owner. I was being Serious, I […]
Why do we have to Go Home? I say. Because the Man and I are Wet, says the Owner. I am also Wet, I say, but I do not want to Go Home. You wet us, says the Man. That is Beside the Point, I say. Then let us Vote, […]
The Owner and the Man and I look at One Another. Then we look at the Bush. Hello? Says the Disembodied Voice of the Man’s Colleague. Mildred has gone into the Bush and she Cannot get Out, says the Man. Then you must Help Her, says the Disembodied Voice of […]
What is at the Edge of Space? I ask the Owner from my Oppressed Spot on the Floor. Nothing, says the Owner. You mean Nothing but more Space, I say. No, says the Owner, I mean an Absence of Space. So what Fills the Space beyond the Edge of Space? […]
Wake up, says the Voice of the Owner, it is Morning and Time for our Walk. I am already awake, I say. The Sun has been Shining for Hours in the Cheese Fields where I am playing with this Purple Giraffe, I say. You are not awake, says the Voice […]
Why am I here? I ask. Well, says the Owner, there was a Mummy Dog and a Daddy Dog, and they Liked Each Other Very Much… Please do not say another word about That, I say. That is not what I meant, I say. I have Been on the Internet, […]
Why am I on the Lead? I say. We are in the Park, I say. Because this Lady, says the Owner, feels that you are responsible for the Colour of her Child. She says her Child was not the Colour of Mud when she gave him to you. You can […]
I do not want to Leave the Pond, I say. We are going Home, says the Owner, departing into the Middle Distance. Do you have Cheese? I ask. No, says the Owner, I have a Commanding Tone and a Moral Dog who Knows what is Good for Him. That is […]
Thank you very much, says the Owner. Don’t mention it, I say. I wasn’t, says the Owner. You just did, I say. I was being Ironic, says the Owner. One would not normally thank a Moral Dog for covering one in Pondwater. Philosophers debate the specific conditions under which Gratitude […]
Hergest, a Hound's Philosophy 