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November 10th: The Device

The Owner and I are setting out on our Morning Walk when the Owner produces a Thing from her Pocket. What is That? I ask the Owner. You Do Not Want to Know, says the Owner. Au Contraire, I say, for the Moral Dog is Wise in Matters of Language. […]

Oct 26th. Own Good.

I am Wearing a Lampshade. It is for your Own Good, says the Owner. I think I am the Best Judge of That, I say. I can See it is a Little Embarrassing, says the Owner. A little? I say. The Other Dogs will Laugh so Hard they will Roll […]

September 30th. The Burglar.

I am a Friendly Dog, I say. There is a difference, says the Owner, between being a Friendly Dog and being Anybody’s for a Biscuit. The Moral Dog is not Anybody’s for a Biscuit, I say. The Moral Dog is as Discerning as he is Moral. The Moral Dog attempted […]

February 1st. Begging.

Stop it, says the Owner. I am trying to Eat my Cheese. Stop what? I say. Fixing your Woeful Eyes on my Cheese, says the Owner. And Drooling, says the Owner. They are my Only Eyes, I say. If we had Spare Eyes then your words might make more sense, […]

January 5th. Banished.

The Moral Dog has not Gone to Daycare Today. Outside the Wind is Howling and has little Bits of Ice in it, and the Moral Dogs’ Tomato-Coloured Coat that makes him look like a Pillock is Discarded in the Garage. The Moral Dog plans to Deal With It Later. Now, […]

September 14th. Duel.

The Owner and the Moral Dog meet the Lady with the Chihuahua in the Park. Hello, says the Lady. Hello, says the Owner. Ese hijo de hámster me orinó, says the Chihuahua. What if I did? I say. Those that Live by the Sword, die by the Sword, I say. […]