Blood is Pouring from the Tail of the Moral Dog, in a Steady Stream. He lies weakly on his Cushion watching the Owner Rushing Around at the Sight of It as the Life Ebbs from him. Oh for Goodness Sake, says the Owner, producing a Cold Cloth. At Last, I […]
Why are you Whining? Asks the Owner. Because I need a Walk, I say, I am Fading Fast. We have Just Walked Extensively, says the Owner, and Now I have Other Things to Do. I see, I say. In that case I am Obliged to Fade, I say. I apologise […]
Today was the day you brought me Home, I tell the Owner. What were the Chances of that? I say. Of All The Gin Joints In All The Towns In All The World, You Walked Into Mine, I say. It must have been a Million to One, I say. It […]
We have to go to the Shops, says the Owner. I am not coming out, I say. It is Too Dangerous, I say. I may be hit by a Meteorite, I say. Nobody has ever been Hit by a Meteorite, says the Owner. On the Contrary, I say, on November […]
Can we go to the Moon? I ask. No, says the Owner. From the Moral Dog’s Perspective that seems a Little Harsh, I say. From the Owner’s Perspective it is Perfectly Reasonable, says the Owner. I suppose Gromit’s trip to the Moon was a Special Treat, I say. Or perhaps […]
A New Gearbox, you say? I say. Yes, says the Owner, and a New Propeller. On an Inflatable Boat, I say. Yes, says the Owner. Consisting of? I say? Inflatable Rubber Tubes, a Hull, an Engine, a Gearbox and a Propeller, says the Owner. All of those together make a […]
Who was Zarathrustra? I ask the Owner. And what did he Say? The Moral Dog is referring to Thus Spoke Zarathustra, says the Owner. This was Friedrich Nietzsche’s Great Work of Philosophy, one that he was inspired to write by the sight of a Large and Striking Rock. He got […]
What is the Moral Dog doing? Asks the Owner. I am Examining this Grain of Sand, I say. The Moral Dog has been Examining It for Half an Hour, says the Owner. What is he Expecting it to do? The Moral Dog is attempting to See a World in it, […]
There is Nothing in the Freezer, I tell the Owner. That is Impossible, says the Owner. You come and Look, I say. I see Something, says the Owner. That is not Something, I say, that is a Space where Something Should Be. A Space in which there is Nothing. Victor […]
What is Heaven? I ask. I do not know, says the Owner, although it is generally held to be a Place to which those who have led a Good Life spend a Blissful Existence after they Die. I do not see, I say, how Heaven could possibly be Blissful for […]
What is it all for? I ask the Owner. Philosophers’ answers to this question are numerous and varied, says the Owner, but Friedrich Nietzsche said the question itself is meaningless because in the midst of living, we’re in no position to discern what it is all for, and stepping outside […]
The Doorbell Rings. Do not answer it, I tell the Owner, it could be an Alien. That would be Exciting, says the Owner, but I think it is the Ocado Man. I do not like Aliens, I tell the Owner. The Moral Dog has never seen any Aliens, says the […]
I am so glad to see you looking Normal Again, I tell the Owner, after your Night spent as a Giant Cheese. The Moral Dog was Dreaming, says the Owner. I have not spent the night as a Giant Cheese. How can you be sure? I ask. Because, during the […]
Why is that star moving? I ask the Owner. It is not a Star, says the Owner, it is a Satellite. How did it Get There? I ask. It was thrown Very Hard and Very High, says the Owner, in Order that it could Circle the Earth Forever. What is […]
What is this Fuss about A levels? I ask. It has been a Travesty of Unfairness, says the Owner. What is Fairness? I ask the Owner. There are many ways of describing Fairness, says the Owner. Principally Fairness is understood to be about Justice and Equality. It concerns the Perceived […]
