The Ducks glower at me as I am summoned back to the Owner. We Dogs, I tell the Owner, do not see why we should not Chase Ducks. It is Entirely Unclear that Anyone Benefits. I think the Ducks might be Relatively Better Off, says the Owner. We would be […]
Did you see who took my Dog’s Ball and threw it in the Pond? Asks the Other Person. I did not, says my Owner. I did not ask you, says the Other Person, I asked your Dog. I do not think my Dog should be asked a potentially Political Question, […]
The Owner looms from the Darkness like the Ghost of Christmas Past. Look what I caught! She says. This is an Outrage, says a Voice. You are not making any sense, I say. Civilised Owners are asleep at this time of night, I say. Then I attempt to hide my […]
Oh dear, says the Owner. The Moral Dog is bleeding from his ear. I languish on my cushion and gaze at the Owner through Tragic But Fading eyes. Do not worry, I say, I have not suffered much. I know, says the Owner, but you have dripped blood on the […]
Where have you been? Asks the Owner. Nowhere, I say. You appear to have been in the Woods, says the Owner. And the Park, she says. And the Bluebells, she says. I might have been, I say. I will have to check my Diary, I say. Then I will Make […]
There is a New Dog in the Park. I have never seen anything like it. That Dog is Weird, I say. It has spotty parts and plain parts and floppy ears, and its tail is a different colour to the rest of it, I say. It is a canine Jackson […]
I am wondering whether perhaps I could have a Lolly for breakfast, I say. No, says the Owner. Why not? I ask. Those are the Rules, says the Owner. One can be too Pedantic about Rules, I say. I think you are thinking of Guidance, says the Owner. Whether or […]
