Today was the day you brought me Home, I tell the Owner. What were the Chances of that? I say. Of All The Gin Joints In All The Towns In All The World, You Walked Into Mine, I say. It must have been a Million to One, I say. It was so Lucky, I say.

Not quite that high, says the Owner. I was Invited, says the Owner.

Of all the Breeders in All the World you were Invited by My Breeder? I say. What are the Chances of that? I say. it must have been a Million to One, I say. It was so Lucky, I say.

Fairly High, given that I had Contacted Him, says the Owner.

Fine, I say, but what were the Chances of you picking me rather than Any One of my Ten Siblings? I say. It must have been a Million to One, I say. It was so Lucky, I say.

One in Eleven, says the Owner.

That is Amazing, I say. One in Eleven is nearly a Million to One, I say. It was so Lucky, I say.

Although, says the Owner, the Odds were Somewhat Shortened when you Purred at the Man, says the Owner. At that point they were One to One.

I could not Possibly, have Purred, I say. It must have been a Fortunate Misunderstanding, I say. What are the Chances of That? I say. It must have been a Million to One, I say. It was so Lucky, I say.

Perhaps it was Wind, says the Owner. Which the Moral Dog gets frequently, says the Owner. In association with his Voracious Cheese Appetite, says the Owner.

It was Extraordinarily Lucky, I say, whatever it was, I say. If I had never come to Live here, who would have Helped you through All the Cheese? I say. You would be living under a Positive Mountain, I say. And you would not have thought to order an Extra Fridge from Amazon, I say. What were the Chances of that? I ask. It was so Lucky, I say.

It is True, says the Owner, that had I not Found the Breeder, Accepted the Invitation, Chosen the Moral Dog on the Basis of Possible Wind and Given him my Amazon Password during a Weak Moment, we would not be where we are now, says the Owner. It is Almost certainly, All Things Considered, a Million to One Chance, says the Owner. It was indeed Extremely Lucky, says the Owner.

Thank you, I say, Modestly.

Thank you, says the Owner, Modestly, at Exactly the Same Time.

The Moral Dog gets the Impression the Owner may have Misunderstood who it is that is Lucky.

Categories: dignity dog dog philosophy

Hergest the Hound

I am a dog of many thoughts.