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Hergest the Hound

I am a dog of many thoughts.

November 10th: The Device

The Owner and I are setting out on our Morning Walk when the Owner produces a Thing from her Pocket. What is That? I ask the Owner. You Do Not Want to Know, says the Owner. Au Contraire, I say, for the Moral Dog is Wise in Matters of Language. […]

Oct 26th. Own Good.

I am Wearing a Lampshade. It is for your Own Good, says the Owner. I think I am the Best Judge of That, I say. I can See it is a Little Embarrassing, says the Owner. A little? I say. The Other Dogs will Laugh so Hard they will Roll […]

September 30th. The Burglar.

I am a Friendly Dog, I say. There is a difference, says the Owner, between being a Friendly Dog and being Anybody’s for a Biscuit. The Moral Dog is not Anybody’s for a Biscuit, I say. The Moral Dog is as Discerning as he is Moral. The Moral Dog attempted […]

February 1st. Begging.

Stop it, says the Owner. I am trying to Eat my Cheese. Stop what? I say. Fixing your Woeful Eyes on my Cheese, says the Owner. And Drooling, says the Owner. They are my Only Eyes, I say. If we had Spare Eyes then your words might make more sense, […]

January 5th. Banished.

The Moral Dog has not Gone to Daycare Today. Outside the Wind is Howling and has little Bits of Ice in it, and the Moral Dogs’ Tomato-Coloured Coat that makes him look like a Pillock is Discarded in the Garage. The Moral Dog plans to Deal With It Later. Now, […]