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Hergest the Hound

I am a dog of many thoughts.

August 6th. Housework.

What are you Watching? I ask, from my Cushion on the Floor. I am watching a Video, says the Owner. Should you not be Hoovering? I ask, Stretching and Making myself more Comfortable Really? Says the Owner, somewhat Icily. Do not Be Like That About It, I say. If you […]

August 5th. Lion.

I would like to be a Lion, I say. That is a Very Profound Statement, says the Owner. I trust the Moral Dog to explain it in a Profound Manner, says the Owner. If I was a Lion, I say, I would Give the Orders around here, I say. I […]

August 4th. The hot dog.

What is that? I ask. It is a Sausage, says the Owner. In a Bun, says the Owner. With Embellishments, says the Owner. I can see that, I say. Why, then, did the Moral Dog ask what it was? Asks the Owner. Because the Moral Dog heard what you said […]

August 3rd. Refugees

I have heard, I say, that there are Moral Dogs like me abandoned on the streets of Cyprus. That is True, says the Owner, and there are Wonderful People Rehoming them in England. Indeed 32 such Moral Dogs flew here in April. That is Good Then, I say. I frown. […]

August 2nd. The Tiger.

I want to go for a Walk, I say. We will go for a Walk, says the Owner, when I have finished on my Exercise Bike. Why are you on your Exercise Bike? I ask. I am Getting Fitter, says the Owner. What for? I ask. One Never Knows when […]

August 1st. Dirty Hands.

The Moral Dog Must Never do that Again, says the Owner. Why not? I ask. That is an Interesting Philosophical Question, says the Owner. Do you not think that there are Some Things that a Moral Dog should never do? Asks the Owner. Such as? I say. That is another […]

July 31st. Religion.

What is a God? I ask. That depends on what one Believes, says the Owner. Surely what something is cannot be determined by what One Believes? I say. In this case, says the Owner, it can. God is usually understood as a Morally Good Creator of the Universe, says the […]

July 30th. Being Full.

The Moral Dog has not Finished his Supper, says the Owner. I have Had Enough, I say. You cannot have Had Enough, says the Owner, on the Bag it says that you need another 200 grams. I do not need a Bag to tell me I have Had Enough, I […]

July 29th. Thought Crime.

The Owner and the Moral are Taking the Air when the Moral Dog finds himself subject to Harsh Words. Do not even think about it, says the Owner, Somewhat Harshly. I have Not Done Anything, I say. It comes to Something, I say, when the Voice of the Owner is […]

July 28th. Anniversary.

I do not see why I cannot come, I say. It is our Wedding Anniversary, says the Owner. The Man and I are Taking a Moment to remember the day we got Married. I want to take a Moment to remember it too, I say. You Cannot Remember it Too, […]

July 25th. Superficiality.

What is Love? I ask the Owner. That, says the Owner, depends on what the Moral Dog means by Love. I shall ask some illustrative Questions, says the Owner. The Moral Dog must Answer from the Heart, says the Owner. The Moral Dog always Answers from the Heart, I say. […]

July 24th. The Bottom.

The Owner puts on the High Tensile Stretchy Bottom-Shaping Trousers. Does my Bottom look Big in These? Asks the Owner. The Moral Dog has learned Caution from the Man around Bottom Questions. All Bottoms are Relative, I say. Compared to the Bottom of a Horse, for Example, the Owner’s Bottom […]