Menu Home

Author Archives

Hergest the Hound

I am a dog of many thoughts.

January 5th. Banished.

The Moral Dog has not Gone to Daycare Today. Outside the Wind is Howling and has little Bits of Ice in it, and the Moral Dogs’ Tomato-Coloured Coat that makes him look like a Pillock is Discarded in the Garage. The Moral Dog plans to Deal With It Later. Now, […]

September 14th. Duel.

The Owner and the Moral Dog meet the Lady with the Chihuahua in the Park. Hello, says the Lady. Hello, says the Owner. Ese hijo de hámster me orinó, says the Chihuahua. What if I did? I say. Those that Live by the Sword, die by the Sword, I say. […]

September 11th. Fear.

What is the Matter? asks the Owner, appearing in the Kitchen. I am scared, I say. How do you know? Asks the Owner, Blearily. My Heart is Beating fast, I say, I have Butterflies in my Stomach and I Cannot Sleep. Why? Says the Owner. I am Anticipating my Imminent […]

September 8th. The Man.

Today is the Birthday of the Man. I deliver my Birthday Present, Even Before he Wakes. Hurrah, I say, adding an Enthusiastic Hello. That Dog has Covered Me in Ectoplasm, says the Man, disappearing into the Shower. It is his Birthday Slobber, I tell the Owner. I do not Slobber […]

September 7th. Meritocracy.

There is a New Dog with a Bushy Tail in the Park. We find it attempting to Save the Day by rescuing a Small Human from its Unwanted Sandwich. Caspar and I explain that we are Superdog and his Trusty and Morally Equal Sidekick, Fluffy (or, as Caspar puts it, […]

September 2nd. Humanists.

This is Terrible, says the Owner. We must Write a Letter to support Mubarak Bala. Why must we Do That? I ask. He is the President of the Nigerian Humanist Association. Says the Owner. He was arrested for Blasphemy in April, says the Owner. He was transferred to the Islamic […]

September 1st. Happy tail.

Blood is Pouring from the Tail of the Moral Dog, in a Steady Stream. He lies weakly on his Cushion watching the Owner Rushing Around at the Sight of It as the Life Ebbs from him. Oh for Goodness Sake, says the Owner, producing a Cold Cloth. At Last, I […]