Why am I here? I ask.
Well, says the Owner, there was a Mummy Dog and a Daddy Dog, and they Liked Each Other Very Much…
Please do not say another word about That, I say. That is not what I meant, I say. I have Been on the Internet, I say. You forgot about Parental Controls, I say. I am still Getting Over It, I say.
Then what do you want to Know About? Asks the Owner.
I want to know why am I here with Yourself and the Man, I say.
We went to see you with your Mother and your Brothers and Sisters, says the Owner, and We Chose You.
Why did you Choose Me? I ask.
Because you Bonded with the Man, says the Owner.
If I had not done so, I say, would you have chosen Another Dog?
It is Possible, says the Owner, but it Did Not Happen.
You would have cast aside the Moral Dog, I say, because Some Other Puppy got in there and Bonded First, I say. I cannot believe you are so Shallow, I say.
It would not have Happened, says the Owner, since we only Chose the Moral Dog because the Moral Dog Chose Us.
How do I know that I made the Right Decision? I ask.
Look how Happy you Are, says the Owner.
How do I know how Happy I might Otherwise have Been? I say.
Could you have been Happier? Asks the Owner.
I might have gone to live on a Cheese Farm, I say.
Then you would not have got to know Me, nor the Man, nor your Many Friends in the Park, says the Owner. Could Cheese ever Compensate for that, asks the Owner?
It would Depend on the Cheese, I say. But how did I know that I would be Happy with Yourself and the Man and my Many Friends in the Park? I ask.
I think that you Guessed, says the Owner.
How did you Know that I had Guessed? I ask.
You made an Endearing Noise, says the Owner.
What sort of an Endearing Noise? I ask.
It was a kind of Rumbling Noise, says the Owner. The Man thought you were Purring in Affirmation of your Choice.
Moral Dogs do not Purr, I say.
I agree, says the Owner, it was Probably Wind, says the Owner.
I cannot believe it, I say. The Moral Dog’s Entire Future hung on a possible Intestinal Rumbling Misunderstanding, I say.
I did not realise it was a Misunderstanding, says the Owner. Do you want to Go back and Choose Again?
I might, I say. What were the Other Options? I ask.
There were a Number of other Loving Households in which Any Moral Dog would be Extremely Happy, says the Owner.
Tell me More, I say.
None of them was a Cheese Farm, says the Owner.
Are you sure? I ask.
Certain, says the Owner.
I am quite Happy Now, I say. I suppose I will stay.
Hergest the Hound
I am a dog of many thoughts.