Jeremy the Beagle says John Henry Newman said Virtue is its Own Reward. He said Virtue brings with it the Truest and Highest Pleasure. Houdini says that this can be translated as meaning that the Moral Dog Does not Get the Cheese. I say this may be why the Owner has […]
It is exciting to see Caspar when he is in the coffee shop. I am filled with Joy. We rush to greet each other as Friends do. It is not my fault there are chairs everywhere. One has to bear in mind, at this point, that Two Moral Dogs have […]
It is very very sad. And very very moving. I tell the Owner we need to watch it again. I think I may have some more emotions to let out. The Owner asks if Howling is the only possible way to let out my Emotions. I say sometimes the Moral […]
The Owner says it is very simple. It was not my football. I should have left it alone. I say well, whose football was it then? It belonged, she says to the Small Human who kicked it towards you. He kicked it at me, I said. When the ball comes […]
We have to deal with Greenhouse Gases in order to Save the Planet, I say. I am wearing my Superdog cape and am anxious to start on the Greenhouses. The Time for Action is Now. Caspar, aka my Morally Equal Companion, Fluffy, says that the secret of Victory is to […]
Caspar is sad. I find him in the coffee shop sitting in the corner, attached to the Wall by a Gordian Knot. He tells me his Owner has Gone Away and he is being Walked by a Stranger. Is the Stranger nice? I ask. The Stranger is lovely, says Caspar, […]
The Owner and I are watching Politics and she is scowling at the Prime Mnister. They are all suggesting that we can Have Our Cake And Eat It, she says. It makes me really cross. I say I had not realise that the election was about Cake. Everything, says the […]
The Owner stomps into the kitchen ahead of me and turns on the news. I thought you were a Moral Dog, she says. The Prime Minister appears on her screen and she adds, at least he never pretends to be Moral. I do not pretend, I say, I am a […]
I have a new coat. It is bright red and makes me look like a tomato. This is not dignity. What am I to tell the Owner? She is so proud of it. Lucifer offers to chew it to shreds, if I feed it in through his nose cage, but […]
I watch a documentary about Martians with the Owner. The Martians are not only extremely unfriendly, it does not Go Well for the Dog. I tell the Owner I am going to hide under the bed until the Martians have gone. You will be under there for a long time, […]
Look Hergest, says the Owner. It is a Swan. Isn’t it beautiful? It’s coming to say hello. The Owner is clearly insane. It is not beautiful. It is not coming to say hello either. It is coming to say something but it is most definitely not hello. I am glad […]
There is a sound in the Park, the sound you hear when Angry Humans are finding fault with Amoral Dogs. Caspar and I divert from the path to skulk in the bushes, as experience has shown that, occasionally, blame for such disturbances is misattributed to Moral Dogs. A number of […]
There is a small fluffy mewing thing in the Vet’s waiting room. It is the sweetest thing that I have ever seen. Apparently it is a Mabel. When I sniff at it it curls up and stares at me with limpid eyes, and I feel an urge to lay both […]
I am in the kitchen when I see it watching me. It is hunched in the tree, still and dark and implacable. It is very menacing. Come out from under the table Hergest, says the Owner. We need to go out. I cannot, I say, a pigeon is menacing me. […]
She says I am growing, but how am I to know that she is not, in fact, shrinking? She says if I am not growing but she is shrinking then everything else must be shrinking, even Caspar. I say has she even read Alice in Wonderland? Sometimes the Owner is […]
Hergest, a Hound's Philosophy 