Jeremy the Beagle says John Henry Newman said Virtue is its Own Reward. He said Virtue brings with it the Truest and Highest Pleasure.

Houdini says that this can be translated as meaning that the Moral Dog Does not Get the Cheese.

I say this may be why the Owner has noted the Prime Minister has more than his Fair Share of the Cheese without appearing to posses Any Virtue Whatsoever.

Jeremy says this is a Prime Example of how Capitalism is built on the Backs of the Oppressed. He says that in a Capitalist Society one can have the Virtue or One can have the Cheese, but One cannot Necessarily have Both.

Houdini says this means they are Non Independent Variables. He says this is one of Life’s Tragedies, along with the fact that some Owners think only Dogfood is for Dogs, the Invention of Leads and the Terrible Smugness of Cats.

Later the Owner has a headache. She asks, am I climbing on her knee during lunch because I Adore Her Greatly, because she has a headache, or because I want her cheese?

I say obviously it is the first two, although I recognise that they are Non Independent Variables. It is because I Adore Her that I am sad that she has a headache. I am filled with Concern and attempting to demonstrate my wish to be No Trouble At All. The Moral Dog could hardly consider Cheese at a time like this.

She hugs me in a way that suggests that she finds Great Comfort in the presence of So Moral a Dog. I gaze at her in a Morally Adoring Fashion as she gazes wanly at her cheese, although owing to the excellent peripheral vision granted to the Moral Dog by the placement of his eyes on either side of his nose, I can also see the cheese Extremely Clearly.

I think, she says after a while, I will just stick to coffee for now. Hergest, would you perhaps like my Cheese?

Whilst it is clear that Virtue is its Own Reward, I cannot help but notice that Virtue and Cheese can be Independent Variables after all.

The Oppressed will be so pleased about this.

Categories: cheese dignity dog dog philosophy Uncategorized

Hergest the Hound

I am a dog of many thoughts.