Where does the Sun Go? I ask the Owner. It does not Go Anywhere, says the Owner. The Earth Turns Round and the Sun is Behind Us. You mean Underneath Us, I say, where the Elephants and the Turtle are, I say. The Moral Dog has been reading Terry Pratchett […]
There is Mud on the Bed, says the Owner. Really? I say. I wonder How that Got There? I say. Is that a Real Really? Asks the Owner, or One of those Fake Reallies used by Moral Dogs to whom the Facts of the Matter are of No Surprise. Squeaky […]
I do not want to wear a Collar, I tell the Owner. I do not see many Cats in Collars, I say. Ducks seem to enjoy Complete Freedom on the Collar Front, I say. And what is this Shiny Bit on it? I say. I do not like the way […]
The Owner and I go to buy a Coffee for the Owner and to allow the Moral Dog the opportunity to Gaze without Hope at Cakes he will Never be Given before being Tied to a Chair Leg. The Coffee Shop man greets the Owner like a long-lost friend. Hello, […]
Who is This? I ask. It is Squeaky Bird, says the Owner. Where is Squeaky Cat? I say. I am very Sorry, says the Owner. He is No More, says the Owner. You mean Squeaky Cat has gone to the Great Squeaky Cattery in the Sky? I say. Metaphorically Speaking, […]
Why are we not going for our Walk? I ask. Because I wish to finish Reading my book of Dog Psychology, says the Owner. I am learning about the Five Stages of Grief, says the Owner. What are the Five Stages of Grief? I ask. They are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, […]
The Moral Dog has a Guilty Face, says the Owner. How do you know? I ask. Because I am looking at it, says the Owner, and it has Guilt written all over it. If it has Guilt written all over it, I say, then you have Written it there. I […]
Squeaky Ball has come out of the Washing Machine. I greet him rapturously, as befits a Moral Dog reunited with his Soulmate. I thought I was your Soulmate, says the Owner. You are my Soulmate, I say, but so is Squeaky Ball. He is a Mate to a different Part […]
What is at the Edge of Space? I ask the Owner from my Oppressed Spot on the Floor. Nothing, says the Owner. You mean Nothing but more Space, I say. No, says the Owner, I mean an Absence of Space. So what Fills the Space beyond the Edge of Space? […]
Why am I on the Lead? I say. We are in the Park, I say. Because this Lady, says the Owner, feels that you are responsible for the Colour of her Child. She says her Child was not the Colour of Mud when she gave him to you. You can […]
They have removed another Statue, I say. I saw that, says the Owner. Do you think removing Statues can change the World? I ask. Yes I do, says the Owner. I do not see why, I say, other than momentarily for the brief celebratory moment when the Odious Figure topples […]
Why are they Protesting? I ask. Surely they will all catch Covid, I say. They are not Socially Distancing, I say. That is All True, says the Owner, but that does not make it Wrong. It is Right to Protest when what has happened is beyond Terrible, says the Owner. […]
There is a New Dog in the Park. I have never seen anything like it. That Dog is Weird, I say. It has spotty parts and plain parts and floppy ears, and its tail is a different colour to the rest of it, I say. It is a canine Jackson […]
The Foxes come to be fed every day. Their level of Entitlement is flabbergasting. They look at me as if the Owner is some sort of Shared Resource and eat my Bedtimes Biscuits without so much as an Acknowledgement by Whose they Really Are. They are Making Assumptions. It should […]
Hergest, says the Owner, why are you sleeping there? Because the Owner, in her Wisdom, has seen fit to banish me from the Bed, I say. What is wrong with your Cushion? Asks the Owner. There is nothing wrong with my Cushion, I say. It is a Perfect Cushion, even […]
Hergest, a Hound's Philosophy 