Look Hergest, says the Owner. It is a Swan. Isn’t it beautiful? It’s coming to say hello.

The Owner is clearly insane. It is not beautiful. It is not coming to say hello either. It is coming to say something but it is most definitely not hello. I am glad I do not speak Swan language because what it is saying sounds extremely rude. Birds should not hiss.

It’s only because you’re barking at it, she says.

I say I am barking at the Swan because it’s obvious that it would like to murder me. It is simply not fair to have a bird that big.

The Owner says the Swan is just trying to live its life. It is just as scared of me as I am of it.

I say I recall that she tried that claim with spiders too, but it was clearly not true or the spider would not have sat on the ceiling and menaced me. I tell the Owner that the next time I come to the Park it needs to be cleared of Swans.

It doesn’t work like that, she says. We have to share the park. You can’t just take over places and drive away the people you don’t like.

Why not? I ask. There are plenty of other places for them to go. Swan places where there are no Moral Dogs to be hissed at.

That’s the problem with everywhere, says the Owner. That’s the problem with Israel and the West Bank, and with the US border with Mexico, and with Turkey and the Kurds. Nobody wants to share their space with anyone who’s different. Everyone thinks people who are different should go somewhere else.

I say I would be happy to share my space with anyone at all except Swans. I have Taken A Dislike to them and I Have Rights. I was Here First.

The Owner says it doesn’t work like that. We don’t get to choose who else wants to be here. Not even if we were Here First.

Even if you don’t like the way they hiss at you? I ask.

Especially then, says the Owner. Especially then.

Categories: dignity dog dog philosophy injustice

Hergest the Hound

I am a dog of many thoughts.