I am a dog of many thoughts.
What is the Triumph of Hope over Experience? I ask the Owner. It is what the Moral Dog feels whilst I eat my breakfast, says the Owner. It is Days since you have given me Cheese, I say. Exactly, says the Owner, the Moral Dog has proved Allergic. Does this […]
Jeremy says he is Standing Down as our Leader, and we have to Choose his Replacement. But who should we Choose? We ask. Jeremy says he Doesn’t Want to Say. Bercow says That’s Just Typical. Jeremy says that in a Democracy when a Moral Leader Steps Down he does not […]
I did not think the Owner was the Kind of Person who would look at That Sort of Thing online. I mean, I know she is Doing Research but to come into the Kitchen and find Those Sorts of Images glaring at me… How do you think it makes me […]
Hergest, says the Owner, why are you Lurking under the Table? I am not Lurking, I say, Lurking is a behaviour usually associated with Ducks. What would you Call It then? Asks the Owner. I am merely On Duty Under the Table, I say. It looks like Lurking, says the […]
How did you get up there, asks the Owner. I jumped, I say. Would you like to Jump down again? She asks. Not really, I say. I may consider it later. The Owner frowns. You are on top of the Bin, she points out, rather Unnecessarily As It Happens. I […]
Yesterday, I say to the Owner, you said I was the Best Dog Ever. Yesterday, says the Owner, you did not emerge from the Pond to Greet a Passing Vicar. How was I to know he was a Vicar? I demand. He was wearing a Dog Collar, says the Owner. […]
The Owner and I go to hear Brave Sir Keir speak about Liberating the Oppressed. He was not what I expected, I say afterwards. I thought he would be on a Horse, I say. With a Suit of Armour and a Sword in order to Better Fight the Dragons. Knights […]
The Vet has put me on a Low Cheese Diet. The world seems somehow Greyer. What is the Meaning of Life? I ask the Owner. Well, says the Owner, I do not think Philosophers agree on the Meaning of Life. I thought that was the Point about Philosophers, I say. […]
Get off me Hergest, says the Owner, this is my Dessert. It is an Iced Lolly, I say. You always share your Iced Lolly with the Moral Dog. If you do not share I may become Melancholy. Always is too Absolute a word, says the Owner. Whether the Iced Lolly […]
We go to see the Small Giggly Human who the Owner Played some Distant Part in Creating. It is a Lovely Day. There is Cake and lots of Screaming. We watch a Film about the Jungle, in which a Small Human is Raised by Wolves with the help of a […]
Houdini says Caspar has been to the Dog Groomer. He whispers this in the coffee shop as though revealing that Caspar has secretly piloted an Assassination Drone and accidentally hit a school. There is a mass in-drawing of Dog Breath sufficient to slightly disturb the pages of the Times being […]
That was Conduct Unbecoming for the Moral Dog, says the Owner, paying for the Replacement Coffee The Lady invited me to say Hello, I say. I know she did, says the Owner. But that was not Saying Hello. Hello does not have nearly as much Slobber in it. It does […]
The Owner and I are walking through Highgate Cemetery when we see a Very Grand Tomb. Whose is that Huge Grave? I ask. That is the Tomb of Karl Marx, she says. The same Marx who said Property is Theft? I ask. That’s the One, says the Owner. The same […]
Today the Owner and I go to Cambridge, where we visit the River. I have an excellent time and manage to Outrage Several Ducks (who congregate on the Other Side looking Supercilious) by suggesting I am On My Way to See Them. It is a Moral Victory, and one I […]
Something Amazing has happened to Squeaky Cat. As the New Year dawned he Appeared in Splendour, back to his Original Orange, with both of his ears and all of his tail. Even the piece of his bottom which he unaccountably mislaid last week is restored to him. I am thrilled. […]
Hergest, a Hound's Philosophy 