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January 12th. The Rat.

How did you get up there, asks the Owner.

I jumped, I say.

Would you like to Jump down again? She asks.

Not really, I say. I may consider it later.

The Owner frowns. You are on top of the Bin, she points out, rather Unnecessarily As It Happens.

I thought the View would be Interesting, I say.

Oh, she says. Okay.

She potters around the garage, tidying things away.

You need to clear up that piece of paper, I say.

I cannot put it In The Bin, says the Owner, owing to the Presence of the Moral Dog on the Top of the Bin.

It might otherwise attract Rats, I say.

We would not want to attract Rats, says the Owner.

Particularly not Large Rats, I say. Rats which might bare their teeth at the Moral Dog.

I would not have thought a Rat would hold much Fear for the Moral Dog, says the Owner.

It is not the Rat, I say, it is what it Might Chew.

I do not think a Rat would chew a Moral Dog, says the Owner. Rats are Fussy.

Are you implying that the Moral Dog is not good enough for a Rat? I ask.

No, says the Owner, I am sure a Rat would think the Moral Dog delightful as part of a Balanced Diet. But I think the Rat would be Too Scared to Try It.

Even a Rat which Bared its Teeth? I ask.

It probably wasn’t Baring its Teeth, says the Owner. It was probably smiling.

Pull the Other One, I say. The Moral Dog was not Born Yesterday.

Well, says the Owner, we have a Catch 22.

What is that? I ask.

I cannot make the Garage Unattractive to Rats without Putting the Rubbish in the Bin, says the Owner. I Cannot put the Rubbish in the Bin whilst the Moral Dog is Occupying the Lid. The Moral Dog does not wish to De-occupy the Lid whilst the Garage is Attractive to the Rat.

The Owner has Summed Up the Moral Dilemma with Admirable Accuracy. But I am still not getting off the Bin.

Categories: dignity dog dog philosophy

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Hergest the Hound

I am a dog of many thoughts.

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