The Owner asks me what is so interesting about fox poo. Where do I even begin? Sadly, it turns out that the question was rhetorical. It is clear that the Owner has no real interest in understanding the magical lure of fox poo. As I begin to explain the lead […]
Today we visit the vet. The vet comments on my tail, which is white (whilst the rest of me is mainly brown). The Vet says not all dogs of my variety keep their tails. He says I seem glad that I still have it. Glad that I still have it? […]
The Owner says she can tell that I am a Happy Dog since happiness correlates with many intuitively relevant dog variables, particularly tail wagging. It is true that I was, for example, extremely happy when I saw the Owner this morning, as I am a Dog of small bladder and […]
Julian Savulescu says that moral enhancement is essential for humanity to triumph because human beings won’t become moral enough fast enough to save themselves just by trying to be better people, even given that they have Greta Thunberg. He means he thinks that science should be used to make people morally […]
The German Shorthaired Pointer is a stubborn dog, although this is something of a value-judgement, since stubbornness is only perseverance viewed from the other side. Where would Frodo Baggins have been without stubbornness? Lording it over us all as a Wraith-Hobbit wearing the Ring of Doom, that’s where. Stubbornness is […]
The Owner is very keen on Rights. Human Rights, Animal Rights, the Moral Standing of Trees… the Owner says just because something doesn’t have rights that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t have rights. She says I have a right to be cared for and nurtured by my Human. She says she […]
Life is not always just. The Owner says what goes around comes around but this takes absolutely no account of the basic unfairness of pigeons. Pigeons cheat. I put a lot of effort in. Watching, thinking, stalking, tracking, creeping. The creeping, in particularly, takes a lot of thought. A lot. […]
I like Small Humans. Unlike some (fluffy) dogs I have met I will not joke that I would not eat a whole one at once, it goes against my instincts. I would not even eat Caspar (although light chewing is acceptable). I have the instincts of a Rescue Dog. Today […]
The Owner and I both, it seems, like cheese. How should I look at this? Should I (a) take the narrow survival-of-the-fittest view that velociraptors epitomise, the view that life is a competition for cheese in which I am pitted against the Owner and may, ultimately, have to choose between […]
Usual trip to coffee shop with owner this morning. Met Caspar, who was looking impossibly fluffy. The Owner petted him. AGAIN. So much for monogamy. Attempted to eat him under guise of puppy play. We’ll see who’s cute when she gets dog hairs in her cappuccino. The Owner retrieves me […]
Humans are deeply illogical. In my park, the one where I walk every day for my allotted exercise (some terrible fascist Owner formula decrees that I cannot pull her around the part for more than 15 minutes twice a day lest she wear out) there is a certain illogic. There […]
The Owner was extremely excitable this morning. Had no idea why until had unwanted visit to vet who suggested my nails needed trimming and sold her a nail file. If the dog god had meant nails to be trimmed dogs would be born with their own nail files. Clearly the […]
Sometimes I want to run up the stairs. Sometimes I don’t. When I want to my legs work. When I don’t want to they simply don’t work. It’s no good waving treats at me. They simply don’t work. Although when there is cheese they can sometimes recover.
Woman claims I am anyone’s for a biscuit. This is unjust. I require at least cheese. Although if I saw a biscuit I might reconsider.
Charles Darwin suggested that all animals are shaped by the need to compete with other species in order to find an ecological niche in which they can succeed. Kind of like a chair, which you shape exactly to fit. It’s an odd idea, since it suggests I fit exactly the […]
Hergest, a Hound's Philosophy 