The Owner was extremely excitable this morning. Had no idea why until had unwanted visit to vet who suggested my nails needed trimming and sold her a nail file. If the dog god had meant nails to be trimmed dogs would be born with their own nail files. Clearly the Owner hoped praise before the event would make me malleable, but she now realises dogs are not easily deceived.

She took me to park by way of apology. Excellent. Finally got to top of enormous compost pile by outrunning the Owner and was able to eat significant proportion of it. the Owner threw herself into compost in obvious attempt to steal it but dodged her whilst still eating compost. She became even more excited. She was been on positively.com which says that she can never be cross with me, only more – or less – delighted. Glad to see her so shouty and happy.

Compost was excellent. Earthy, with essence of fox.

Later my stomach gurgled then everything I had eaten earlier returned to the kitchen, which was disconcerting and unreasonable, given that I had gone to such effort to eat it. Things at the Other End of me were not good either. This went on for hours.

The Owner delivered hugs but, unaccountably, refused me access to the bedroom (which I felt would be the best place for the activities we will not mention, since I never go in there otherwise). I think owner’s excessive excitement about vet must have done this.

Tomorrow I will eat compost. I am sure this will solve the problem.

Categories: dog dog philosophy philosophy

Hergest the Hound

I am a dog of many thoughts.