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April 15th. Shafts of Sunlight.

Would you like a Bedtime Biscuit? Asks the Owner. No thank you, I whisper. But you always have a bedtime Biscuit, says the Owner. The recipe was created by the late, great Michel Roux. Are you Skulking? I am not Skulking, I say Extremely Quietly, and my Appreciation of Monsieur […]

November 18th. The Owner.

Caspar has raised a Matter of Some Concern. It should have been obvious to me long ago, but I suppose I just took it for granted. Humans are Humans, and one does not imagine them having needs, but of course they must eat, they must sleep, they must groom… The […]

November 8th. The Pet.

The Owner is doing an Online Survey for people with pets. The Owner has a pet, apparently. One she is very fond of. I have looked everywhere for it. It’s nowhere to be seen. She never told me she had a pet. I am not even sure I would have […]

November 7th. The hurricane.

I am really worried about Squeaky Cat, I tell Caspar. The Owner left him out in a Hurricane and now he looks all despondent. Caspar says what do you mean, despondent? I say well, he’s gone a funny colour and he smells funny. Caspar asks what kind of funny colour. […]

November 6th. Downward dog.

The Owner and I are improving ourselves through yoga. (She suggested she could improve herself through yoga all by herself but I can work the doorknob now.) She turns on the TV lady and the class begins. The TV lady says first we are going to do Downward Dog. Excellent, […]

Nov 4th. Goalposts.

The Owner has a terrible habit of pulling backwards as we walk along. I have been trying to correct her, straining to help her along as she leans back and endlessly complains at her inability to keep up. This morning she says that if I don’t stop pulling her cheese […]

November 2nd. The big half.

The Owner and I are on the bed. She is watching a film about Hannibal, who took a bunch of elephants across the Alps in the Second Punic War in order to invade the Roman Republic. I am simply inhabiting that small part of her living space that is allotted […]

Oct 31st. Halloween.

As we walk past the cemetery I hear the boys behind us talking. One of the boys says that a ghostly man in a cloak walks these pavements at night, carrying his head under his arm. He says he knows someone who has seen this. I think this sounds most […]

Oct 19th. Good Progress.

Today in the cafe the Owner tells Caspar’s Owner that I am making Good Progress. Caspar and I (alias Superdog and his Trust Sidekick, Fluffy) exchange knowing glances. Little Do They Know. Later the Owner and I take shelter from the rain in a cave inside a tree trunk. I […]

Oct 18th. Fox Poo.

During our walk on the Heath today I find some truly excellent Fox Poo. It is ripe, and spreads particularly well. I roll in it enthusiastically, encouraging the Owner to do the same. Instead she tempts me, by deception, into a large puddle and proceeds to throw it all over […]