The Owner says I can only come and lie on the bed to watch the programme about Martians if I promise not to I Wriggle and Grumble and do not allow my Gases to escape.

I say I could certainly cut down on the Wriggling and the grumbling but I cannot control my Gases as easily as that, I am a Dog not a Bicycle Pump.

The Owner says she understands that there is an Accord about the release of Gases and we must all play our part.

I say if I retain my Gases I may become excessively buoyant. Does she really want a Dog that floats above the bed like a Ghostly Apparition?

The Owner says yes indeed, she would love a Dog that floats like a Ghostly Apparition, she had not previously realised this was an option. It is splendid to know that’s all solved then. I can come and watch the programme about Martians and, when I float into the Air, she will take some footage and put me on Youtube, a splendid solution all round.

I sense that my petard may be hoist.

Caspar says that’s what happens when you make empty threats.

Categories: dog dog philosophy philosophy

Hergest the Hound

I am a dog of many thoughts.