I like Small Humans. Unlike some (fluffy) dogs I have met I will not joke that I would not eat a whole one at once, it goes against my instincts. I would not even eat Caspar (although light chewing is acceptable). I have the instincts of a Rescue Dog.

Today we went to the park just as the small humans appeared in bulk. Most, like me, were accompanied by Owners. Most, like me, were clearly subject to severe restrictions when it came to leaping into ponds or eating the many delightful menu items laid out upon the grass.

I had an excellent time. I believe my Owner and the Small Humans did too. To begin with I was on the lead, as were many of the Small Humans, but eventually my Owner told me to be a Good Dog and let me off.

I was not just a Good Dog, I was a Hero. As my Owner attempted to persuade me to walk with her I noticed a Small Human attempting to play with a ball. The Small Human clearly had no idea how to play with a ball and was attempting to kick it rather than chew it. As I rushed to assist it squealed in loud excitement, abandoned the ball and ran determinedly away, shouting ‘Help!’ in a voice of great alarm. Recognising (because Dogs are naturally helpful) a need for assistance I attempted to provide it to the best of my ability.

I am a Modest Dog. I did not act alone. My Owner shouted encouragement and joined in the pursuit. The Owner of the Small Human began to shriek in excitement and also gave chase. The camaraderie was incredible, the shouting joyful, we were Humans and Dogs engaged in a glorious and life-affirming helping situation.

Between us we trapped it. Its Owner carried it away, squeaking and squealing. My Owner was so overcome with gratitude that she forgot to give me a treat and instead put me on the lead and brought me home.

I think I was a St Bernard in a previous life.

Categories: dog dog philosophy philosophy

Hergest the Hound

I am a dog of many thoughts.