The Owner and I are in the Kitchen, Doing our Respective Jobs..
Hergest, says the Owner, please stop Barking. I am trying to Write my PhD.
I have to Bark, I say, I am a Dog.
That is Not True, says the Owner, and as a Person with Training in Research Methods I can prove it.
You are not doing any Research on Me, I say, I have already had this Conversation with the Vet.
I am relying upon Empirical Evidence, sats the Owner. You cannot Argue with Empirical Evidence.
What is this Empirical Evidence? I ask.
Can you see that Silent Dog over there? Asks the Owner.
I look out from the Balcony. Yes, say, I can see that Silent Dog over there.
Exactly, says the Owner.
I Grant, I say, that there is a Silent Dog over there, but that Dog is not protecting a Fridge Surrounded by Hungry Strangers. I can see at Least a Dozen People from here.
Why does that mean you have to Bark? Says the Owner.
If I do not Bark they will Come in and Steal the Cheese, I say.
Thats is Ridiculous, says the Owner. When have you Ever Known Anybody try to Come in and steal the Cheese?
Not since I have been Barking, I say.
The Owner is wearing her Earphones and I am Protecting the Cheese. You cannot argue with Empirical Evidence.
Hergest the Hound
I am a dog of many thoughts.