It’s a jungle out there and Superdog has to be prepared for anything. Sudden changes of direction. Sudden bursts of speed. Sudden squirrels. You never know when there’s an Arch Enemy in the hedge. The Owner is unpicking bits of dead leaf from her hair. She unwraps the lead from […]
A Ghastly Pong has joined the Owner and I in the kitchen. The Owner seems to feel that the Ghastly Pong and the Moral Dog are somehow related. Moreover, she suggests, some aspect of the Moral Choices I have made earlier, possibly regarding the edible nature of compost, makes the […]
We went to Hampstead Heath and just as we got to the top of Parliament Hill it rained, she tells the Man as she takes her coat off in the garage. Did you get wet? He asks, and starts to laugh as water pools around her and runs into the […]
I don’t know why the Owner throws the ball. When I take her for her evening Walk she likes to throw it. Of course, I fetch it. I am, after all, a True Dog, in addition to being a Moral Dog. The urge to chase the ball is overwhelming, the […]
The Owner and the Moral Dog were somewhat at odds this morning over the redistribution of some items from the table to the floor. I explain that it was not my fault that her items refused to share the table with me. It is also not my fault that I […]
The Owner leads me past a pair of rats with bushy tails and I chase them into a tree where they sit, looking down at me, holding their breakfast in their paws. They are squirrels, she says. Aren’t they sweet. Sweet. Sweet? It’s a rat with a bushy tail and […]
The Owner says I should not have eaten the Book. She says she required the Book in order to digest its contents. I don’t understand this. She claims she has been digesting its contents for weeks yet she she hadn’t even taken a single bite. And how is she so […]
The Owner tells a Person in the Coffee Shop we are going to visit some Islands. She says we are going to fly there. The Owner says it will be the first time her dog has flown. She asks the Person if Other Dogs are good when flying. Clearly the […]
We have been watching rugby, a game which involves a group of men chasing a ball up and down a field, with occasional interventions by a whistling Owner to takes it off them then throws it back. These men have the Souls of Dogs. The Owner cheered when the Men […]
There are Some Dogs who don’t share their ball. The Owner says such dogs should all be called Boris. (I say I can’t always tell when she is joking. She says she never jokes about anyone called Boris.) Such dogs carry with them an Aura of Capitalism, the antithesis of […]
The Owner is obsessing about philosophy. She is writing her PhD on the philosophy and law of organ donation and she keeps talking about deemed consent. This is when someone is understood to have consented to donate their organs because they did not refuse. It is possible, if the conditions […]
Today when I wake it is raining heavily. Usually when this happens we stay indoors till it stops, but today the Owner says it isn’t going to stop, the lead is produced, and out, it seems, we go. Come on, she says, we are in it together. Solidarity, Hergest, she […]
This morning, walking through the park, I found a particularly well-concealed piece of silver foil filled with attractive white crystals. I was just beginning to snack, relying on the well established common law principle that if something is abandoned it is res nullius (nobody’s thing) and finders are keepers, when […]
The Owner says that if I didn’t have the wrong bits she would rename me Lady Justice Hale, as this is a name that a Moral Dog would wear with pride. I am not sure which of my bits prevent my being given whichever name she wishes, but I would […]
Well. I had not realised the true purpose of the shower. Identity theft. We entered the shower smelling largely as we should. The Owner, admittedly, still bore more than a hint of chemical geranium tempered with chloroform, which she seems to preload herself with every morning. I was ripe, a […]
Hergest, a Hound's Philosophy 