Two Humans, One Small and One Large are Arguing in the Coffee Shop. It seems that, Central to the Argument, is a Dispute regarding a who will Sit in the Pushchair. During the resulting Furious Exchange of views a Large Biscuit is Thrown onto the Floor by the Small Human. The Moral Dog, obviously, Does his Duty. One would not want the Coffee Shop Man to have to Fetch the Hoover.

Unfortunately there seems to be a General Consensus that, whoever’s Biscuit it was, it was not the Moral Dog’s Biscuit. The General Consensus from the Small Human is Particularly Screamy.

Why did you Eat the Biscuit of the Small Human, Hergest? Asks the Owner.

Is that a Rhetorical Question? I ask.

Is that? Asks the Owner.

It was on the Floor, I say, because the Small Human Threw it Away Unwanted. It was therefore Morally Available to the Moral Dog whose Food is Left Unceremoniously on the Floor. I believe the Correct Term is Finders Keepers. I do not see why you Purchased a Replacement Biscuit.

Because the Biscuit was not really Thrown Away, says the Owner, it was Flung to the Ground in Expectation of Later Recovery in a Gesture of Resistance by the Small Human in Protest at Life’s Injustice.

What is the Point of That? I ask.

The Small Human is Learning the Art of Moral Protest, says the Owner. Today it Throws only a Biscuit, Tomorrow it may Change the World. One must Learn to Proceed One Injustice at a Time. We must Never Give In.

You mean Small Humans must all Learn to Throw Biscuits in order to be Moral? I ask. It strikes me that the Moral Dog could be in for Considerable Feasting if that is the Case, given the Numbers of Small and Morally Immature Humans that Gather in the Coffee Shop on a Daily Basis..

It was a Metaphor, says the Owner. You are being Deliberately Obtuse.

You mean the Small Human, in defying the Constraints of the Pushchair, is Practising for the Day when they lead an Anti Whaling Protest, an International Criminal Tribunal Holding Human Rights Violators to Account or a Protest against the Effects of Austerity in the North East? I ask, demonstrating that the Moral Dog is only Obtuse when he wants to be.

Exactly, says the Owner. Gestures of Defiance aim to change the public narrative. They convey a Long Tradition of Risk, Self-Sacrifice, and Integrity. They typically defy the laws, norms, and behavioural codes of the established regime. They make a Blow for Freedom. Kant said that every rational being had both an innate right to Freedom and a duty to enter into a civil condition governed by a social contract in order to realise and preserve that Freedom. Actually, Kant said there was only one innate right and that is Freedom.

Wow, I say. Did you get all that from a Biscuit? Or is it connected to the Fact that, shortly before the Screaming Began you were reading a newspaper article about Health Inequality, Immigration Restrictions and the Moral Failings of the Prime Minister?

It might be, says the Owner.

And do you, in fact, have an Urge to throw Another Biscuit on the Floor in order to convey a Long Tradition of Risk, Self-Sacrifice, and Integrity, defy the laws, norms, and behavioural codes of the established regime and make a Blow for Freedom.?

I am Glad you Understand so well, says the Owner. If I throw it, would you perhaps Hoover it up?

The Moral Dog, Assistance with Gestures of Defiance, Political Statements and Biscuits.

Categories: dignity dog dog philosophy

Hergest the Hound

I am a dog of many thoughts.