That was Conduct Unbecoming for the Moral Dog, says the Owner, paying for the Replacement Coffee The Lady invited me to say Hello, I say. I know she did, says the Owner. But that was not Saying Hello. Hello does not have nearly as much Slobber in it. It does […]
The Owner is lying on the Sofa. She says she has a cough, but it is not clear to me that this means that she needs all of the Sofa. It is positively Unreasonable. Hergest, she says in a faint voice reminiscent of heroines in Jane Austen novels whenever they […]
When I woke up this morning the Sea has sneaked back up the beach in the night. I bark at it from the bedroom window. Not another step, I say. What are you doing, asks the Owner, it is 6am. I wish to sleep on. I am maintaining Constant Vigilance, […]
Jeremy the Beagle says John Henry Newman said Virtue is its Own Reward. He said Virtue brings with it the Truest and Highest Pleasure. Houdini says that this can be translated as meaning that the Moral Dog Does not Get the Cheese. I say this may be why the Owner has […]
The Owner has introduced me to two dogs called Vindaloo and Korma. They were not what I was expecting when I was told I was to spend an evening with Vindaloo and Korma. To be honest, I was expecting something rather more nutritious. I have to say, though, they are […]
Caspar has raised a Matter of Some Concern. It should have been obvious to me long ago, but I suppose I just took it for granted. Humans are Humans, and one does not imagine them having needs, but of course they must eat, they must sleep, they must groom… The […]
This morning the Owner does not purchase a cheese scone from the cafe. Instead, bizarrely, she appears to be eating mango from a pot. There seems to be a scone-shaped hole in this cafe where the scone ought to be. It is gnawing at me. The Owner says she fancied […]
Caspar and I are trying to pull Houdini out of the gap beneath the bridge over the ducks. It is not going well because Houdini has a stick and he will not let it go. Bercow, who likes telling people what to do far more than he likes doing it, […]
The Owner has a terrible habit of pulling backwards as we walk along. I have been trying to correct her, straining to help her along as she leans back and endlessly complains at her inability to keep up. This morning she says that if I don’t stop pulling her cheese […]
The Owner and I are somewhere new, and when we arrive it is very dark. Come on, Hergest, she says, time for a walk. I follow her into the night, across a meadow heady with fox, past bushes redolent with squirrel, to the side of a huge and gloriously scented […]
The Owner went out without me today. She was gone for hours. The dog sitter and I watched some interesting and informative films. Then she returned as if she had not abandoned me to whatever fate might bring. What if the earth had frozen through some terrible climatic catastrophe whilst […]
The Owner is very keen on Rights. Human Rights, Animal Rights, the Moral Standing of Trees… the Owner says just because something doesn’t have rights that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t have rights. She says I have a right to be cared for and nurtured by my Human. She says she […]
Hergest, a Hound's Philosophy 