Get off the Sofa, says the Owner. You always say that, I say. And you never Get Off, says the Owner. Then why do you Keep Asking? I ask. Because I hope that you will Learn from your Mistakes, says the Owner. Just because you got it right Yesterday, does […]
I would like to Travel in Time, I say, in order to have Another Birthday Today. You cannot do that, says the Owner, because it is Physically Impossible to Travel to the Past. The Past no longer exists, except in Memory. That is a Nowist view, I say. Nowism is […]
Today is the Moral Dog’s Birthday and he is Presented with a Number of Gifts by his Friends in the Park. The Gifts are Excellent in their Dog-Appropriateness, Sentiment and General Design. The Owner, Somewhat Doggistly, says she is Exercising what she calls her Reasonable Powers of Veto over Some […]
The Owner and I head into the Park. The Sun is Shining and there are Moral Dogs everywhere. Balls are being Thrown and Chased, Squirrels are Hanging around the bottom of Trees Seductively, Ducks are Chorussing Smug Insults as if they think a Moral Dog cannot Swim, Small Humans are […]
The Owner and I have been Watching the Prime Minister’s briefing. The Owner has gone that Lilac colour she reserves for Prime Ministers, Health Secretaries, Home Secretaries and Those People who keep Ringing the Doorbell in the Middle of the Night. Can we go to the Zoo? I ask. No, […]
The Owner and I are in the Woods when she reads that there are People who want to tear down the Statue of Winston Churchill. That is terrible, she says. Sir Winston Churchill’s statue does not Commemorate the Profits of Slavery, it commemorates his Pivotal role in the Defence of […]
Evening, says the Mouse. Excuse me, I say, I thought you had left. There was a certain amount of Eviction, says the Mouse, but I have Regrouped. You do not seem to have learned your Lesson, I say. What do you mean? Says the Mouse. You appear to have walked […]
We meet a Huge Snarling Dog I have not met before. As I approach to say a quiet hello it flies at me through the air, Snarling Terrifyingly. Whilst the Owners commence a Mind-Numbing discussion of the Failings of the Health Secretary which I assume will Last Some Time, I […]
Why are you lying on the floor? I ask. Are you ill? No, says the Owner, it is Exercise. It is part of my Personal Development. Who in their Right Mind Exercises when lying down? I say. Allow me. What are you doing? Asks the Owner. I am Helping, I […]
They have removed another Statue, I say. I saw that, says the Owner. Do you think removing Statues can change the World? I ask. Yes I do, says the Owner. I do not see why, I say, other than momentarily for the brief celebratory moment when the Odious Figure topples […]
Look at that Hergest, says the Owner. What do you see? I see a picture of a Statue, I say. I think the Owner may be somewhat obsessed with Statues but since it is, undeniably, a picture of a Statue, there is little else I can say. Sometimes, says the […]
So they threw the ancient and valuable Statue into the Sea? I say. Yes, says the Owner, they did. Was it ugly? I ask. In some ways No, says the Owner, but in most ways Yes. They destroyed a Historic Monument? I say. The Whole Concept of what is Historic […]
We arrive at the Park. Tennis Players are Tennissing, Runners are Running, Squirrels are Flaunting, Ducks are giving the Moral Dog Insinuating Looks regarding our Mutual Possession of Webbed Feet. Ladies in Pink Trousers Abound. It is a Positive Heaven for the Moral Dog. I Lunge for the Gate in […]
Knocking People Over, says the Owner, is Bad Enough. But Failing to Look After them when they Fall is Abject Dereliction of Duty. I cannot believe I have seen this in the So-called Land of the Free. That Man is Lying on the Floor, I say. He is clearly Badly […]
The Owner is eating Chocolate Rabbit with her Breakfast again. I do not think that Chocolate is part of a Balanced Diet, I say. It absolutely is, says the Owner. It is one of the Six a Day. I think you will find it is Five a Day, I say. […]
Hergest, a Hound's Philosophy 