The Owner says we are Leaving Europe Next Week. She seems Rather Woeful about it. Do not worry, I say, as the Moral Dog likes to be Positive at All Times. At least you have a Moral Dog beside you. Can I come? You have to come, says the Owner […]
Please get off me, says the Owner. I am writing about Oppression in Liberal Societies. The Police are to Deploy Facial Recognition Cameras, which I believe is a Serious Threat to Civil Liberties. But, I say, Surely the Police can be Trusted. There, I have finished it for you. Now […]
The Owner is Reading the Newspaper when the Commotion Ensures. It was all the Rude Dog’s fault I say, as she Marches me Unceremoniously out of the Coffee Shop. He Deserved it. I cannot Take my Eyes off you for One Moment, says the Owner. I Suppose you are going […]
The Owner is sitting at her Computer watching the House of Commons. I am engaged in a discussion with Squeaky Cat, when she speaks suddenly. Ozymandias, she says, in slightly strained tones. What is that? I ask, as her voice was slightly drowned by Squeaky Cat, who is Upset that […]
Caspar arrives in a great tizz. Come quickly, he says. The Moon is being stolen. We rush to the window and look outside. The Moon is indeed being Stolen. There is only a Small Piece Left. It cannot have Gone Far, I say. This is what the Owner likes to […]
The Owner and I have found a Wonderful Stick. One end is Leafy and the other end is Barky, and the Middle is Perfect for Grasping. When the Owner throws it, it spins and whistles, then lands with a Perfect Thud. I Retrieve the Stick. I Run Around Joyfully, sharing […]
The Owner and I bring in the Bins because the Refuse Collectors have just been. I watch the Bin Lorry drive away up the Hill and disappear our of sight. I am looking forward to my Walk, I say. Can we go now? We can indeed says the Owner, putting […]
Caspar has been reading us a story about Sherlock Holmes. We have got to the part about the Ghostly Hound. It had Glowing Eyes and Fearful Teeth and a habit of chewing people in a Morally Unsound fashion. There cannot be a Hound like This, I say. No Moral Dog […]
It is Very Early when we go to the Park. I rush to Say Hello to a Lady with a Dog. Hello, I say to the Dog. You need to Put Your Dog on the Lead, says the Lady to the Owner. My Dog Does Not Like Other Dogs. I […]
No Hergest, says the Owner as we walk through the Park, I am not Throwing the Stick in the Dark. But You Always Throw the Stick I say, albeit in a mumbling fashion (as I am Holding a Stick.) I did not understand that, says the Owner. I put the […]
What is the Triumph of Hope over Experience? I ask the Owner. It is what the Moral Dog feels whilst I eat my breakfast, says the Owner. It is Days since you have given me Cheese, I say. Exactly, says the Owner, the Moral Dog has proved Allergic. Does this […]
I did not think the Owner was the Kind of Person who would look at That Sort of Thing online. I mean, I know she is Doing Research but to come into the Kitchen and find Those Sorts of Images glaring at me… How do you think it makes me […]
Hergest, says the Owner, why are you Lurking under the Table? I am not Lurking, I say, Lurking is a behaviour usually associated with Ducks. What would you Call It then? Asks the Owner. I am merely On Duty Under the Table, I say. It looks like Lurking, says the […]
How did you get up there, asks the Owner. I jumped, I say. Would you like to Jump down again? She asks. Not really, I say. I may consider it later. The Owner frowns. You are on top of the Bin, she points out, rather Unnecessarily As It Happens. I […]
Yesterday, I say to the Owner, you said I was the Best Dog Ever. Yesterday, says the Owner, you did not emerge from the Pond to Greet a Passing Vicar. How was I to know he was a Vicar? I demand. He was wearing a Dog Collar, says the Owner. […]
Hergest, a Hound's Philosophy 