The Doorbell Rings.

Do not answer it, I tell the Owner, it could be an Alien.

That would be Exciting, says the Owner, but I think it is the Ocado Man.

I do not like Aliens, I tell the Owner.

The Moral Dog has never seen any Aliens, says the Owner, how would be know?

Of course the Moral Dog has seen Aliens, I say. Vogons, I say. They were Very Rude, I say. I did not Get the Impression they were Amenable to Moral Dogs, I say.

That was Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, says the Owner. That was not Real.

How do you know? I ask. Have you been into Space? I ask. I know the Owner has not been into Space so this is the Triumph of the Powerful Rhetorical Question.

I take it that was a Rhetorical Question, says the Owner, but I know the Vogons are Men in Costume because I have Read the Book.

The Owner seems to have defeated the Moral Dog’s Triumphant Rhetorical Question. That does not discount the Possibility of Vogons, I say. the Universe is Infinite in Time and Space, I say. There must be Vogons in it Somewhere, I say. It Stands to Reason, I say.

I suppose it is Not Impossible, says the Owner.

Aha, I say, You have Admitted it, I say. If you Eliminate the Impossible then whatever Remains, however Improbable, Must be True.

That depends on whether you are a Possibilist or an Actualist, says the Owner. Possibilists believe that Actuality encompasses only a subset of the things that Are. They suggest that in addition to things that Actually exist, there are Possible Things that could have existed, but, as it happens, do not. This means that if there had been Aliens at the Door they could have been Vogons, but the Fact that I can see that it is the Ocado Man suggests that they Are not.

The Moral Dog is not talking about the Actuality of Possible Vogons but the Possibility of Actual Vogons, I say. Any sensible Vogon could come disguised as the Ocado man, I say. Look at him, I say. He has Pointy Ears, I say. I am not talking about a Possible Vogon but an Actual Vogon, I say. Do not open the Door, I say.

An Actualist would not believe in Vogons, says the Owner. Actualists suggest that whilst it seems intuitively possible that there could be Aliens somewhere in the Universe, we should not be deceived by intuition since this would require the Laws of Evolution themselves to be different than they are. The Atoms of the Universe are Subject to the Same Laws wherever they are, and nothing could possibly evolve to be as Mean as a Vogon. If the Laws of Evolutions had been slightly different, Vogons might have existed, but the Moral Dog would not. Actualists say that there are no Vogons because the Law of Evolution is what it is and Chose Instead to create Persons, Cockroaches and Moral Dogs, says the Owner.

The Doorbell Rings Again.

Look, says the Owner, he has the Lollies.

That is different. A Vogon with Lollies cannot possibly mean any harm.

Categories: dignity dog dog philosophy

Hergest the Hound

I am a dog of many thoughts.