Hergest, says the Owner, you are a Total Pain, you are constantly walking in front of me and tripping me up.

On the contrary, I say, it is you who is a total Pain, you are constantly following me around and falling over me.

That is ridiculous, says the Owner.

I think so too, I say.

When I went to make a cup of tea you tripped me on the way to the Kettle, says the Owner. I do not see what you could possibly have been doing other than trying to trip me up.

I was on my way to check that the ice in my water had not melted yet, I say, when you appeared behind me and hurled yourself at me. I assumed that perhaps you were refreshing my slice of lemon. I  do not see what else you could possibly have been doing other than throwing yourself upon the Moral Dog in a gesture of Misplaced Affection.

Our perspectives of these events are clearly different, says the Owner.

It just goes to show, I say, how easily misunderstandings arise. It is lucky that you have a Wise Dog who understands that there is More than one Truth.

Although, adds the Owner, if I were to tell you I were going to collect ice cubes for the Moral Dog’s water and were then to find him under my feet, that might suggest not a misunderstanding but a degree of Slippery Eelness on the part of the Moral Dog.

It might, I say, or it might suggest that there is much to be said for the Tibetan Two Truths Doctrine.

The Owner walks towards the Fridge. Oh really? She asks.

Absolutely, I say, striding purposefully towards the Freezer.

Ouch, says the Owner.

I cannot believe you have fallen over me again, I say.

I told you where I was going, says the Owner.

You did not ask me if I was also going there, I say. According to your somewhat Judgemental Perspective the Moral Dog has Got Underfoot. According to the Tibetan Two Truths doctrine, however, one must distinguish Superficial Truth, which describes our experience and perception, from Ultimate Truth, which describes true reality, I say.

This is just another way of claiming you did not Trip Me Up, says the Owner, but only one of us is on the floor with a bruised knee and it is not you.

On the contrary, I say, I am rising serenely above your accusations. Conventional truth may include a duality of apprehender and apprehended which is absent from Ultimate Truth, I say.

What does that mean? Asks the Owner, getting up off the floor. I note that she is not rising serenely.

It means it was nobody’s fault, I say. It is just the way the World is.

I don’t see what help that is, says the Owner.

You need to meditate more, I say. I will send you the link.

Sometimes, says the Owner, I think I should have got a hamster.

That may be the Superficial Truth, but I know it is not the Ultimate Truth, so I am Not Listening.

Categories: dignity dog dog philosophy

Hergest the Hound

I am a dog of many thoughts.