The Owner is having a meeting on Zoom.

Why can I not meet my friends on Zoom? I ask.

Because you are a Dog, says the Owner.

I do not see why Dogs should not meet on Zoom, I say.

It is not that they cannot, it is that Zoom is not suitable for Dogs, says the Owner.

What do you mean? I ask.

Well, what do you see on the screen when I am on Zoom? Asks the Owner.

Blobs, I say. Making Cheery Noises, I say. As the Cocktail Evening progresses, I say, the noises become Ever More Cheery and the Moral Dog gets Ever Less Attention.

They are my Friends, says the Owner. We are Exchanging Convivialities over a gentle Cocktail.

So you say, I say, but they do not smell of anything so I must take your word for it that they are your friends. As far as I am concerned they could be just Anyone.

That is why you cannot have a meeting on Zoom, says the Owner. You cannot smell those on Zoom. The Moral Dog could find himself attempting to share Cocktails in a Zoom Room full of Strange Dogs masquerading as Caspar, Bercow and Houdini.

That is easily overcome if you simply Turn the Smell On, I say.

There are many reasons why I cannot turn the Smell On, says the Owner, the first being that we do not have the Technology.

You mean you have no option to Smell those to Whom your Are Speaking? I ask. Frankly, I am flabbergasted.

Sadly, not, says the Owner.

Do you mean to tell me that Human Beings have created sufficient technology to exchange long and cheerful conversations with Blobs on a Screen, but you have not enabled the Smelling that would enhance the experience towards some semblance of Reality and allow your Moral Dog to spend an evening exchanging the Day’s acquired Scents with his Many friends? I say. You cannot imagine the Richness and Ripeness of the Experience that you are missing.

I cannot, says the Owner, it is an Inexplicable Tragedy. Now excuse me, I have a cocktail Zoom to attend.

Somehow I just do not Feel she is Sincere.

Categories: dignity dog dog philosophy

Hergest the Hound

I am a dog of many thoughts.