It is difficult, being a Superhero during lockdown. The Close Personal Attention of the Superhero Hound seems less than Welcome. Bouncing is Misinterpreted. Slobber is suspect. People appear not to want to be saved. So when the Owner offers a Viewing of a Superhero Film I am secretly thrilled and resolve to watch carefully for Possible Tips.
Unfortunately, as it turns out, the Owner’s idea of a Superhero seems somewhat flawed. There is very little to be learned from such a film if one is already a Superhero.
I did not like that film, I say.
But you like films about Superheroes, says the Owner.
I cannot tell the Owner that my interest in such films is Purely Professional. That Superhero only a became a Superhero because he was bitten by a Lunatic Spider, I say. Indeed, given his lack of Moral Effort in Acquiring his Skills one wonders who allotted him the term.
How should a Superhero become a Superhero? Asks the Owner.
Through Choice, I say, and through being Moral.
On that basis, says the Owner, the Moral Dog could perhaps aim to be a Superhero.
The Owner is straying Dangerously Close to the Truth. It would require Morally Useful Superpowers, I say. I do not see what is so Great about Sticking to the Wall, I say.
It enabled Spiderman to Battle Doctor Octopus more Effectively, says the Owner.
Frankly, I say, it was jolly fortunate for Spiderman that his Arch Enemy turned out to be an Irritating Boffin whose only real strength was the possession of Extra Mechanical Arms. Imagine if Doctor Octopus had instead been a Very Rude Dog wishing to Chew Small Humans in the Park. Sticking to the Wall would not have been much use then.
Nevertheless, says the Owner, Superman has much to teach us about the Responsibility that comes with Great Powers. One must use ones powers Wisely, whether they involve Sticking to Walls or the Judicious use of Jumping and Slobbering.
I suppose he does, I say. I do not want to say more lest the Owner guess my secret.
What Superpowers would the Moral Dog choose, were he to be a Superhero? I ask.
Enormous Wisdom, I say, and the Power to Rescue Persons in Distress from Ancestral Cats, Threatening Squirrels and the Massed Ranks of Ducks.
It strikes me, says the Owner, that the Moral Dog is very skilled in those areas already.
Thank you, I say Modestly.
Of course you would need a Trusty Sidekick, says the Owner.
I think in these days you may find that Superdog would have a Trusty and Morally Equal Companion, I say.
That is very wise, says the Owner. The kind of Wisdom one might expect from Superdog. I suppose you could ask Caspar to be your Trusty and Morally Equal Companion? He always seems exceptionally wise, and if he is a little Fluffier than your Average Superhero, One would Not want to be Fluffest.
No, I agree, One would Not.
It is almost as if she knows.
Hergest the Hound
I am a dog of many thoughts.