What is wrong with Disinfectant as a Cure for Covid? I ask.
Everything, says the Owner. It is Ridiculous, says the Owner.
You have to be more Specific, I say. If you laugh at Donald Trump you merely convince those who Trust him that the problem is not His Ridiculousness but Your Narrow Mindedness.
Disinfectant is a Chemical, says the Owner. It kills Viruses by bursting them.
Well then, I say, surely it kills viruses in People by bursting them too. Donald Trump is perfectly sensible and everyone is Being Mean because he is Normally an Idiot.
You should not say that about the POTUS, says the Owner. A team of US Marines may shortly arrive on our roof and Take Us Away.
I do not think they will Object to what I say, it is one of the Advantages of being a Dog.
I take your point, says the Owner.
Even Idiots are Sometimes Right, I say.
That may be true, says the Owner, but on this Occasion the President is not only Wrong but Dangerous. If you have Covid you could indeed kill it by injecting yourself with disinfectants, but only because you would kill yourself.
So there was a Grain of Truth in what the POTUS said? I ask.
Grains of Truth are dangerous things, says the Owner.
Winston Churchill said the truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is, I say.
Look, says the Owner, disinfectant contains Alcohol or Bleach. They are poisonous.
You drink Alcohol, I say. Sometimes with a Paper Umbrella, I say. How come you even got the Virus in that case? I ask.
I have been known to Consume Wine in small doses, says the Owner, although as you may notice, I do not Drink Bleach at all. However Alcohol kills viruses only at High Concentrations. If I were to Ingest a virus-killing level of Alcohol I would be Deceased long before the Virus.
What about Bleach? I ask. There are people who say Bleach cures many diseases.
Indeed, says the Owner, and you will find that those people also sell Bleach for those purposes. These people are Monsters Profiting from the Misery of Others, which is so Disgusting that they make Donald Trump look like a Hero.
You are not keen on Bleach then? I ask.
It is fantastic for Lavatories, says the Owner. Luckily the extreme pain involved in injecting Bleach usually stops people from injecting enough of it to Kill, even if they believe Donald Trump.
Usually? You mean people have tried? I ask.
People have tried Drilling Holes in their Own Heads, says the Owner.
I am beginning to see the Problem, I say. Has the President suggested Shooting the Virus? I ask. He seems really keen on Guns, I say.
Not yet, says the Owner, but there are manyPress Conferences to go.
The electric chair for the Virus?
You are getting the Drift, says the Owner.
Drowning the Virus in Rum and Raisin Ice Cream? I ask.
Now you are getting Silly, says the Owner.
I am just making sure you are not Inherently AntiBleach, I say.
It is possible to have too much of anything, says the Owner, even Rum and Raisin Ice Cream.
How fortunate that Donald Trump was being Sarcastic, I say.
Indeed, says the Owner, the World is a Safer Place because of it.
Now you are being Sarcastic, I say.
Gosh, says the Owner, I thought I was being Subtle.
The Moral Dog, ever more Sensitive to the Subtleties of the Human Condition.
Hergest the Hound
I am a dog of many thoughts.