I did not see the Owner last night so I say Hello Enthusiastically.
The Owner has been to the Vet. She has a bandage and is Extremely Grumpy when the Moral Dog Leaps to Say Hello. Ouch, she says. Can you not tell I have an Injury, she says.
I did not know you had in Injury, I say. You did not have an Injury yesterday. I am Pleased to see you. I say Hello again, more Enthusiastically.
That is because yesterday I was going to Hospital and today I am Back from Hospital, says the Owner. Ouch again, she says.
You look just the same to me, I say. I am a Moral Dog, not a Doctor.
Dogs are supposed to be able to tell when their Owner is Injured, says the Owner. A Moral Dog has a Sixth Sense for it. Please stop jumping.
That is only true if you subscribe to the Naturalist Concept of Injury, I say, which says that Injury results from the Abnormal Functioning of some Bodily Part which is Objectively Bad or Unwanted. the Moral Dog would not be so Foolish as to Adhere to Such a Theory.
And what is wrong with the Naturalist Concept of Injury? Asks the Owner. It sounds as if it describes my Sore Arm Perfectly.
In these days of Evidence Based Medicine Moral Dogs know better than to make Naturalist based Suggestions as to whether or not having an Arm in a Sling is Objectively Bad, I say. Such a judgement would be considered Armist or even Slingist by those who choose to wear their arms in Slings.
That may be so, says the Owner. But if the Moral Dog wishes instead to Adopt a Constructivist view of Injury, which regards Injury not as the Piece of Metal in the Owner’s Arm, but the Pain felt in the Arm when the Moral Dog jumped on it, then he would surely not have jumped on the Arm Three Times.
I also reject the Constructivist view of Injury, I say. The Constructivist view does not explain why we judge only some phenomena as symptoms of Unfortunate and Undeserved Injury whereas others are taken as symptoms of Being a Nuisance or a Hypochrondriac.
I am not being a Nuisance or a Hypochrondriac, says the Owner. Look. Do you want to see my Stitches?
I feel all Wobbly now, I say, I need to lie down. I am not well at all.
That is because you have been reading the Stanford Dictionary of Philosophy Again, says the Owner. On a Naturalist view of Illness there is Nothing Wrong with you. And on a Constructivist View it serves you right.
The Moral Dog. Hoist with his Own Petard.
Hergest the Hound
I am a dog of many thoughts.