It had hundreds of legs, I say, and it ran really fast, and it had huge fangs, and it hissed and gloated. And then it tried to jump on me. We can’t go back in there.

Hm, says the Owner, is it stuck in the bath?

It might have been in the bath, I say. But by now it will have jumped out. It could be anywhere.

She says it’s more scared of me than I am of it.

I say this is very unlikely.

She says spiders never do any harm.

I say it depends what you mean by harm. Caspar’s owner has a Small Human who was bitten by a spider. Now he shoots webs out of his wrists, detects danger with his spider-sense and has to fight Doctor Octopus, Green Goblin and Venom.

The Owner says is Caspar’s Owner’s Small Human by any chance three years old and in possession of a pair of Spiderman pyjamas?

I say he might be, but that doesn’t make the spider any less dangerous. Nor does it alter my feelings about Doctor Octopus, Green Goblin and Venom, who do not sound very friendly at all.

She says come with me and we will take the spider outside together.

She looks brave, but I notice she is planning to catch it in a glass.

Categories: dignity dog dog philosophy

Hergest the Hound

I am a dog of many thoughts.