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December 18th. Squirrels.

Why can’t Moral Dogs climb trees? I ask the Owner. Because if they could there wouldn’t be any Squirrels, says the Owner. Would that be a Bad Thing? I ask. It would for Squirrels, says the Owner. That might be true if all Dogs could climb trees, I say, as […]

November 21st. The ASBO.

I have been banned. It is a Dog ASBO. I am no longer allowed in the nature reserve by the pond. It’s not just you, Hergest, says the Owner. They have banned all dogs from the Nature Reserve. I say, I know it is me. It isn’t you, she says […]

Oct 3rd. Squirrels.

The Owner leads me past a pair of rats with bushy tails and I chase them into a tree where they sit, looking down at me, holding their breakfast in their paws. They are squirrels, she says. Aren’t they sweet. Sweet. Sweet? It’s a rat with a bushy tail and […]