The Owner and I go to hear Brave Sir Keir speak about Liberating the Oppressed. He was not what I expected, I say afterwards. I thought he would be on a Horse, I say. With a Suit of Armour and a Sword in order to Better Fight the Dragons. Knights […]
The Vet has put me on a Low Cheese Diet. The world seems somehow Greyer. What is the Meaning of Life? I ask the Owner. Well, says the Owner, I do not think Philosophers agree on the Meaning of Life. I thought that was the Point about Philosophers, I say. […]
Get off me Hergest, says the Owner, this is my Dessert. It is an Iced Lolly, I say. You always share your Iced Lolly with the Moral Dog. If you do not share I may become Melancholy. Always is too Absolute a word, says the Owner. Whether the Iced Lolly […]
We go to see the Small Giggly Human who the Owner Played some Distant Part in Creating. It is a Lovely Day. There is Cake and lots of Screaming. We watch a Film about the Jungle, in which a Small Human is Raised by Wolves with the help of a […]
Houdini says Caspar has been to the Dog Groomer. He whispers this in the coffee shop as though revealing that Caspar has secretly piloted an Assassination Drone and accidentally hit a school. There is a mass in-drawing of Dog Breath sufficient to slightly disturb the pages of the Times being […]
The Owner and I are walking through Highgate Cemetery when we see a Very Grand Tomb. Whose is that Huge Grave? I ask. That is the Tomb of Karl Marx, she says. The same Marx who said Property is Theft? I ask. That’s the One, says the Owner. The same […]
Today the Owner and I go to Cambridge, where we visit the River. I have an excellent time and manage to Outrage Several Ducks (who congregate on the Other Side looking Supercilious) by suggesting I am On My Way to See Them. It is a Moral Victory, and one I […]
Something Amazing has happened to Squeaky Cat. As the New Year dawned he Appeared in Splendour, back to his Original Orange, with both of his ears and all of his tail. Even the piece of his bottom which he unaccountably mislaid last week is restored to him. I am thrilled. […]
It is the New Year, says the Owner. Happy New Year! Happy New Year! I say, but where has the Old Year gone? I liked it there. It was Taken Away at Midnight, says the Owner. Now it is in the Past. Can I go back to the Old Year […]
It is New Year’s Eve. We have had to leave the Edge of the World and Return to Reality. All of us did this in a Small Flying Machine. Some of us had to do this in a Box marked Animal. As we leave the Airport on the Edge of […]
The Owner is checking her Bank Account. What is a Bank Account, I ask. It is where you save your Money, says the Owner, for when The Prime Minister needs it. Why should the Prime Minister have it? I ask. It is a Social Responsibility, she says, in Order that […]
The Owner and the Man and I are walking home from the pub in the Darkness. Look Hergest, says the Owner, stopping and looking up, do you see that? It is the brightest star in the sky. It is called the Dog Star. Only a few planets, the Full Moon […]
I am not getting off the Rock, I say. Come on Hergest, says the Owner. We have to swim back. I am getting cold. You can swim back, I say. I am staying here on this Rock. Dogs cannot live on Rocks, says the Owner. I am starting a Precedent, […]
I am Very Excited to be Going to the Inn. Inside it is as Merry as Mr Fezziwigg’s party. People are clinking their glasses and exchanging Merry Greetings. There is Music and Festivity and the Scent of Plum Pudding and Chips. It is as if Everyone has learned the lesson […]
I am not wearing that for dinner, I tell the Owner, it looks silly. It is the Rule for Christmas Dinner, says the Owner, the Man and I are wearing ours. She has a shiny hat on her head which makes her look very slightly like a Lighthouse. The Moral […]
Hergest, a Hound's Philosophy 