Why won’t you play with me? I ask. I am Hot and Cross, says the Owner. Like the Buns, I say. I feel this is rather witty. No, says the Owner, not at all like the Buns, in fact, but like a Person who is Hot and Cross and Has […]
The Owner and I are watching the road from the Balcony as a Lady loads her car, as the Owner says we have to Stay Indoors. Why does that very small Lady need all those Toilet Rolls? I ask the Owner. She has at least seventy-two. People do not always […]
You don’t look Very Sick to Me, I tell the Owner, so why am I Going to Day Care? I cannot Walk the Moral Dog whilst I have Covid-19, says the Owner. This would be Unfair on Many Levels. Whilst I do not yet look sick I have only just […]
Do you have Covid-19? I ask the Owner. It seems that I do, says the Owner. But this is Day one so it is early days. How do you feel? I ask. I have a slight cough, says the Owner, such that it tickles when I breath in, and a […]
Why are we staying in? I ask the Owner. I want to go to the Coffee Shop. I may have a Bug, says the Owner. I do not want to Give it to Others. It seems to me, I say, that if you have a Bug then giving it to […]
How do I know I am a Dog? I ask the Owner. Goodness, says the Owner. You could ask me, and I can tell you that you are a Dog. How do you know? I ask. The tail is a clue, says the Owner, as is the Remarkable Appetite for […]
Go to sleep, Hergest, says the Owner. I do not want to Sleep, I say, there is a Bear there. It is not a Real Bear, says the Owner, it is in your head. It came there from that film when Leonardo di Caprio was attacked by a Bear. That […]
I am bored, I say. Play with me. No, says the Owner. I am Busy. I wait an Eternity. Will you Play with me Now? I ask. Get Off Me, says the Owner, and No. I have already said so, and this was less than Ten Seconds Ago. Twelve, I […]
The Moral Dog is growing fast, says the Vet. His Parts Suggest he will soon Hit Puberty. I don’t Subject Others to Common Assault then make Unfounded Accusations of Violence on the Basis of Prodding at their Parts, I say. Goodness, says the Owner. I assumed he had Hit it […]
There is a new Dog in the Park. It is Slippery and Sneaky and I do not want to Play With It. Go and Play with Bella, Hergest, says the Owner. I do not want to play with That Dog, I say, I am too busy Looking at Grass to […]
The Owner throws the ball. I pursue the Ball. She throws. I pursue. She throws. I pursue. I am seized by the Thrill of the Chase. My Prey Drive comes to the Fore. All thoughts of the cares of the Day leave me! This is what the Moral Dog is […]
I do not know how you can drink that stuff, I tell the Owner. If is Coffee, says the Owner, it is a Human Vice. Besides, she says, I do not see how you can Sniff that Stuff. It is Fox Poo, I say, it is Sent from Heaven for […]
I knew you would do that, says the Owner. If you knew I would do it, I say, why did you Nevertheless try to Stop Me? Stephen Hawking once said he noticed that people who claim everything is predestined, and that they can do nothing to change it, nevertheless look […]
You would not like the Film, says the Owner. It is very Creepy. I do not know how you can say I would not like the Film when I have not seen it, I say. You have to Trust me on this, says the Owner. It is Too Scary for […]
I do not want to go to Day Care, I say to the Owner. But why not? Asks the Owner. When you go to Day Care you have a wonderful time with Bercow, Houdini and Caspar. Why would you not want to go to Day Care? Because I will only […]
Hergest, a Hound's Philosophy 