I am a dog of many thoughts.
They have removed another Statue, I say. I saw that, says the Owner. Do you think removing Statues can change the World? I ask. Yes I do, says the Owner. I do not see why, I say, other than momentarily for the brief celebratory moment when the Odious Figure topples […]
Look at that Hergest, says the Owner. What do you see? I see a picture of a Statue, I say. I think the Owner may be somewhat obsessed with Statues but since it is, undeniably, a picture of a Statue, there is little else I can say. Sometimes, says the […]
So they threw the ancient and valuable Statue into the Sea? I say. Yes, says the Owner, they did. Was it ugly? I ask. In some ways No, says the Owner, but in most ways Yes. They destroyed a Historic Monument? I say. The Whole Concept of what is Historic […]
We arrive at the Park. Tennis Players are Tennissing, Runners are Running, Squirrels are Flaunting, Ducks are giving the Moral Dog Insinuating Looks regarding our Mutual Possession of Webbed Feet. Ladies in Pink Trousers Abound. It is a Positive Heaven for the Moral Dog. I Lunge for the Gate in […]
Knocking People Over, says the Owner, is Bad Enough. But Failing to Look After them when they Fall is Abject Dereliction of Duty. I cannot believe I have seen this in the So-called Land of the Free. That Man is Lying on the Floor, I say. He is clearly Badly […]
The Owner is eating Chocolate Rabbit with her Breakfast again. I do not think that Chocolate is part of a Balanced Diet, I say. It absolutely is, says the Owner. It is one of the Six a Day. I think you will find it is Five a Day, I say. […]
Why are they Protesting? I ask. Surely they will all catch Covid, I say. They are not Socially Distancing, I say. That is All True, says the Owner, but that does not make it Wrong. It is Right to Protest when what has happened is beyond Terrible, says the Owner. […]
The Owner puts her head on her arms. Stop the World, she says, I need to Get Off. What do you mean, Stop the World? I ask. The World is not moving. If it was we would all keep Falling Over. Actually, says the Owner, the World is like an […]
Penguins, I say. Indeed, says the Owner. They really appreciated the Caravaggios, I say. Apparently so, says the Owner. They were less interested in Monet, I say. So it is said, says the Owner. Philistines, I say. They are Penguins, says the Owner. Almost Ducks. The Moral Dog who has […]
It will soon be your Birthday, says the Owner. Will it? I say. I hadn’t realised, I say. It must just be a coincidence that the Moral Dog has spent the entirety of the last week browsing the Facebook Guide to Gifts for Dogs, says the Owner. Indeed, I say, […]
Where did I come from? I ask. We have discussed this, says the Owner, the Moral Dog came from an Ancestral Wolf. But I do not look like an Ancestral Wolf, I say. I have spots, I say. Indeed, says the Owner, that is because you have evolved through careful […]
The Ducks glower at me as I am summoned back to the Owner. We Dogs, I tell the Owner, do not see why we should not Chase Ducks. It is Entirely Unclear that Anyone Benefits. I think the Ducks might be Relatively Better Off, says the Owner. We would be […]
Did you see who took my Dog’s Ball and threw it in the Pond? Asks the Other Person. I did not, says my Owner. I did not ask you, says the Other Person, I asked your Dog. I do not think my Dog should be asked a potentially Political Question, […]
The Owner looms from the Darkness like the Ghost of Christmas Past. Look what I caught! She says. This is an Outrage, says a Voice. You are not making any sense, I say. Civilised Owners are asleep at this time of night, I say. Then I attempt to hide my […]
Oh dear, says the Owner. The Moral Dog is bleeding from his ear. I languish on my cushion and gaze at the Owner through Tragic But Fading eyes. Do not worry, I say, I have not suffered much. I know, says the Owner, but you have dripped blood on the […]
Hergest, a Hound's Philosophy 