The Owner has developed an Extremely Peculiar Habit. Her obsession with Collecting the Rear End Offerings of the Moral Dog seem to have extended into Collecting Similar Offerings from Other Dogs. Moreover, she is doing it wearing Blue Plastic Gloves and Strange Round Sunglasses, and carrying a Huge Orange Bag. […]
I did not like the Man on the Park Bench who said I should be on a Lead, I say. You have to be Tolerant, says the Owner, he is Afraid. When you asked him why he thought that, he said it was the Law, I say. He thought that […]
We are walking along in our usual fashion, mine one of Bounding Enthusiasm, the Owner’s one of Landminish Avoidance of Others when we encounter Another Dog with His Human Person. We exchange signals – the type of Signals Moral Dogs have used since Time Immemorial. A wagging tail. A wuff […]
They are confining Cats indoors if their Owners might have Covid, says the Owner. That sounds an excellent plan, I say, and a Just Punishment for Hissing at the Moral Dog. It is not a punishment, says the Owner. It is a precaution, since Cats seem able to pass Covid […]
The Owner says the Man’s Hair needs cutting. Indeed, I am becoming Rather Shaggy, he says. I will do it, says the Owner. In your Dreams, says the Man. You are a Doctor, not a Hairdresser. The Moral Dog could do it, I say, give me the Scissors. I do […]
Tell me again, I say to the Owner. Tigers, says the Owner. At the Bronx Zoo. Four Tigers and three Lions. They appear to have caught it from a Keeper who had Covid. I believe the Tiger had a cough. How can this be? I ask. You suggested that the […]
The Other Dog has my Ball. Do not be a wuss, says the Owner. Go after him. He snatched it from under my nose, I say. He was a Meanie, I say. I know, says the Owner. Go and get it back. Aggression does not come naturally to the Moral […]
The Owner is sad again. What is wrong? I ask. It is Ecuador, says the Owner, they are having a terrible time. This virus is destroying so much that is good. Is there not enough to worry about here? I ask. Aristotle said Solidarity involves making the interests of your […]
I have heard a Terrible Rumour, I say, that people in India are abandoning their Dogs. I am afraid it is true, says the Owner. The fear of Covid is leading people to do these things. But I thought you said that Dogs did not get the Covid? I say. […]
Hergest, says the Owner, stop Howling. It is traditional, I say. I need to communicate with the Brotherhood of Dogs, I say. I Howl again. Can you not just speak to them in the Park? Asks the Owner. You may be attracting Hyaenas. No, I say, because our limited exercise […]
The Owner is getting cross. There are so many people making claims about Covid, she says. False Information is Everywhere. People are passing it around like Valuable Currency. Why are People believing it if it is Not True? I ask. Because the People making the claims are Apparent Experts, says […]
There is a Ginger Creature on the other side of our fence. Isn’t he beautiful, Hergest? Asks the Owner. Do not Bark at him. A Trickle of Ice runs down my Spine. The Animal is Unsettlingly doglike. What was that? I ask. What was what? Asks the Owner. Did you […]
The Owner says the Prime Minister and all his Men have Covid. It is quite a coincidence that they all caught it at the same time, I say. How very unlucky that is, I say. Yes, says the Owner. Were they not practising Social Distancing? I ask. It seems not, […]
The Owner and the Man and I go for our Daily Walk on the Heath. There are a few Humans about but they Avoid us by stepping off the path in wide circles. Is it very hard, I ask the Owner, for Humans to avoid Close Contact with Others? Sometimes, […]
QUACK, says a Voice. I bark, frantically. I do not like Ducks. They float away gracelessly when pursued. To have one following us home from the pharmacy would be an Outrage beyond all decency. What are you barking at? Asks the Owner. Ducks, I say. Hergest, says the Owner. That […]
Hergest, a Hound's Philosophy 