Ouchouchouch, I say. Excuse Me, says the Owner of a Poodle, We Are Next. We Wish to Discuss the Removal of Parts. Speak for Yourself, says the Poodle. This is an Emergency. He Ran Through a Bush, says the Owner. Oh Dear, says the Vet. He has a Scratched Eye, […]
The Owner and I are setting out on our Morning Walk when the Owner produces a Thing from her Pocket. What is That? I ask the Owner. You Do Not Want to Know, says the Owner. Au Contraire, I say, for the Moral Dog is Wise in Matters of Language. […]
I am Wearing a Lampshade. It is for your Own Good, says the Owner. I think I am the Best Judge of That, I say. I can See it is a Little Embarrassing, says the Owner. A little? I say. The Other Dogs will Laugh so Hard they will Roll […]
It is not fair, I say to the Owner, to call me a Bad Dog because I Barked at the Angry Parent. I am a Dog. It is a Species Norm for me to Bark. A Moral Dog cannot be Good or Bad in such matters, he can only be […]
The Owner is reading an Article in the Guardian about Beauty. Many Owners, it seems, are having their faces Injected in order that they should look Young and Fresh. Should I be doing this, Hergest? She asks. And Please Be Honest, she adds. The Moral Dog is Always Honest. Why […]
Caspar has raised a Matter of Some Concern. It should have been obvious to me long ago, but I suppose I just took it for granted. Humans are Humans, and one does not imagine them having needs, but of course they must eat, they must sleep, they must groom… The […]
It is important, for the Moral Dog, to have autonomy. Both Kant and John Stuart Mill were clear on that, and they didn’t agree on much else, I can tell you. The Owner says autonomy is the capacity to be my Own Dog. She suggests that when I decide to […]
Charles Darwin suggested that all animals are shaped by the need to compete with other species in order to find an ecological niche in which they can succeed. Kind of like a chair, which you shape exactly to fit. It’s an odd idea, since it suggests I fit exactly the […]
Many things squeak. In a complex universe a dog could be forgiven for thinking a squeak is one of those things you can rely on. I have learned, for example, that a piece of dead ox will always be chewy, that a carefully placed poo will always thrill the woman […]
There is, I am ashamed to say, a weakness at the heart of dog. I realised it slowly, and too late. The Woman, you see, takes particular delight in my placing my bottom on the ground. To begin with I was reluctant. I mean, frankly, I couldn’t see the sense […]
Woman got me to climb stairs today. Exhausting. 4 lots. Got cheese after each. Pavlov has a lot to answer for. Not sure it’s worth it. Am I being taken for a fool? Am I, in the words of Immanuel Kant, being treated as a thing without reason? I am […]